How to teach your kids life skills at home
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You would think these learning tabs come naturally for parents, but they don’t. At least not for me.
Most of the things I teach my kids come from my own experiences. For example, I didn’t learn how to manage money until I was a young mom making stupid money decisions. Likewise, I didn’t know how to manage a home until we began raising our Family in our own home, and we lived in it long enough to witness the start-up to a chaotic home.
Fortunately, I can teach my kids about home economics because of my experiences.
HOME MANAGEMENT
Home management was one of the very first things I taught my kids because I knew that to live our lives the best we could, it made sense to focus on the home first since that was the one area in our life that was way out of order.
After having kids and being in a home that didn’t function and a house with more chaos than a zoo, I knew something was missing or wrong.
I used to hate reading about other moms managing their homes, writing everything down, and laying out a full schedule for the week, like meal planning, outfits for the next day, etc., because who even has the time for that?
Luckily, that “aha” moment came when I needed it the most- when I became that mom who wrote everything down and figured out her life- years later.
I needed my home in order. My kids needed their home in order. So I absolutely needed to be that mom who manages her home, and thank goodness I converted!
It wasn’t easy, but we did it, and we did it together, everyone involved—Yup, including my two-year-old.
My home management posts:
Laundry routine for my Family of nine
Night routine with seven kids| From Chaos to Calm
How I manage a house with seven kids
How to get started
Home management can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. Start slow. Ask yourself what is out of order and what needs to be focused on the most in the home. I wrote down everything I did for a day, which helped me focus and zoom in on the one part of our day that needed help: our school nights.
Our nights were chaotic; after-school chaos, shower time, homework time, dinner time, etc. That part of my day needed a lot of attention. So home management began with figuring out a system for school nights. I started with the hours my kids returned from school and then created block hours.
Example: from 4 pm-5 pm, kids want to unwind, eat a snack, and talk about their day.
Writing everything down took me one night- this part is the easy part. However, sticking to it is where the challenge lies.
TIPS
- Write down the task/chore that takes up most of your time. For me, it was laundry. Not only was laundry the task I dreaded most- it was also the most time-consuming. So this chore undoubtedly made it to the top of my list.
- What’s your goal for that one task? For me, the goal was to cut time. For you, it may be to create a more straightforward process.
- Find out how you could spread that task out by a week. I asked myself how much time do I want to give in to this one task? My ideal time was less than 2 hours. For this reason, I had to think about what I needed to do to decrease the time I spent doing laundry. Daily laundry was the only thing that made sense. Not only did I drop the time, but I could get it done in less time than I anticipated. Total game changer!
- How can you incorporate your kids? I wrote down a list of chores and had each kid look at the list. I started with the younger ones to see what they would like to help with. They always picked the easier ones- hence, I begin with the younger ones because I know the older ones would choose the easier chores if they had the first pick.
- Keep your expectations low. I hate to say it, but it will take time for the kids and you to get used to a new order in the home. Time is considerably the adversary in this new and unfamiliar adjustment. But with time comes good things.
LEARNING TO COOK
I didn’t wake up one morning and tell myself, “the kids gotta learn how to cook.” One day my kid asked if they could help, and I just let them. I learned they enjoy it! All of them.
So I started including the kids in the kitchen more. I would have them help out with washing veggies and peeling them. They loved getting involved with holiday baking. With my guidance, they learned to follow instructions with cooking simple dishes like boxed mac n cheese or top ramen.
When they became more familiar with cooking, I sometimes would even challenge them to a bake cook-off as an activity. Yes, it can get messy. It can get sticky. But it’s fun, and they’re learning.
Once they got the hang of it, they never stopped asking. Down to my ten-year-old, our older kids would sometimes make family dinners. The little ones love helping me when I bake sweet treats.
It’s about incorporating them into cooking or when they feel ready to help. Of course, each kid is different, and not all kids will want to learn how to cook. For some, it may not be for them, and that’s alright. There are so many other ways they can learn about responsibilities in the home.
TIPS
- Enforce kitchen safety rules
Your kids will probably learn safety rules when you allow them to be in the kitchen. And it may not have anything to do with their cooking. It could just be at a time when you’re cooking, and your kid waltzes right behind, and you might tell them, “be careful; you can’t run in here because I’m cooking on the stove, and the stove is scorching, and you or I could get hurt.”
You want to be confident in your kid so they can be confident in themselves but always supervise and monitor. For example, I never allow my kids to cook without my presence. I may let them be alone in the kitchen, but I am always nearby.
Some other safety kitchen rules to consider are:
- Turning on and off the stove correctly.
- Learning how to use sharp objects, like knives, safely.
- Learning about safety precautions for hot stoves, ovens, and microwaves.
- Teach them how to clean their station afterward.
Get them used to being responsible. Teaching them to clean up after themselves is a great way to instill that responsibility. Plus, a good chef always cleans up their mess.
MONEY TALK AND SPENDING MONEY
I think I am very transparent about having money talks with my kids. I talk about prices when we go grocery shopping, school shopping, or in any way I can. I talk about good deals and bad deals. I talk about what things I find expensive or worth the money. I talk about the costs of owning a home and utilities. I talk about vehicle expenses and maintenance.
Of course, these conversations don’t all come out at once. But when I get the chance, or when they curiously ask, I tell all.
More importantly, I speak a lot about my first experiences of me when I had my first paycheck and how I spent every dollar I made. Obviously, I don’t want to teach my kids how mommy went broke. But I think it’s important they learn what I’ve lost and what I could have gained had I been smarter with my money and spending it.
I also told them that I wished I had found opportunities to make money when I was under the legal age limit—like, walking dogs or mowing lawns.
Now that my kids are learning about entrepreneurship, they can find ways to make money. For example, my son is 15 years old and found a job as a lifeguard. On the other hand, my 11-year-old daughter walks my neighbor’s dogs for compensation. When she was ten, my daughter took our Halloween candy at one point and sold it at the bus stop for dollars.
I like my kids to know that working for something is okay if they want something. Earn it. If there is a will, there is a way!
Managing their spending
I try to avoid micromanaging their spending. I also try not to control “the way they want to spend. Instead,
Instead, when the kids started earning money, I asked them this one question: Is there something you want so badly that you absolutely cannot live without it? My daughter jumped and said, “YES!.” She wanted these cute trendy chokers that kids at school were wearing. But she also wanted new jeans. So, we went to the store and had her buy the things she wanted with her money.
After spending her money, I asked her how she felt. She was so excited about the things she bought so she gleed and said “GOOD!.” I learned the jeans she bought were very beneficial to her. She needed them and wanted them. She wore them a lot! The chokers, on the other hand, do not do so much. She didn’t care much about them after wearing them for only a week. The good thing is they were a small percentage of the cost of the jeans, so she didn’t lose much.
I still gave her credit because she understood the enormous spending was necessary as it was something she needed. Of course, the smaller spending was a preference and unnecessary, but it was an easier lesson to learn than if it were vice versa.
She is far different than my son, who isn’t a spender and, instead, a lot more cautious than even I was as a teenager.
I disagreed with her spending at first, but I sat back and let her decide on her own. I don’t want to force teach my kids how to spend their money. I want them to learn with experience because I believe those are the learning curves that stick.
TIPS
- Be transparent. Tell your kids about the terrible mistakes you made with your first paycheck if any. Don’t be afraid. If anything, you might be helping them dodge the same mistakes.
- Let them make mistakes. Watching them on standy-by as they make their mistakes may be hard for some parents, but honestly, I believe it is the best way for them to learn how to create and manage their spending.
- Don’t hold back. You may think your kids are too young to learn, but they never are. For example, I speak to my toddler about money when we play pretend cooking and shopping. They listen even if you don’t. They are.
- Never stop learning yourself. If there is so much to teach, there is much to learn. Learn for the benefit of your own life and your children. Your choices affect those of your kids, so if you can make it better, then make it better.
- Don’t hover. Kids are more prone to making the opposite choices of the ones you’re encouraging when they feel too much pressure. Give them room to make their own decisions, and always lift them if they fall.
What are some things you’re teaching your children? As a mother, I am always looking for new ways! So if you have any, let me know in the comments.
