Our LARGE FAMILY Q&A | The questions we get asked the most
With anything unusual in the world, people want to know all the whats, hows, and whys. Large families are not typical, so we often catch the public eye, and that’s okay. Curiosity is in our nature.
I have gotten mixed reactions from people about our large family, but most are just curious. People want to know what our day-to-day life looks like- how do we keep up? How do we feed them all? How am I still alive at the end of the day? How am I not balding? (genetics, by the way) and some want to know if any more kids are coming in the future.
Trust me; I get it.
I answer all those questions here. Here is a slight peak inside the lives of a large family.
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1. How do you do it with seven kids?
When people ask me how I do it with seven kids- hundreds of thoughts run through my mind a million megabits a minute. Of course, there are only 24 hours a day, and there is only so much we can do with just one kid, but seven? Phew. Let me grab a towel. I’m sweatin’ a little bit.
First and foremost, I’d lie through my teeth if I told you I did it alone. Truth? I don’t. I begin and end my day in prayer, and I ask for the Lord’s help for the day. Through and through, I see His tender mercies, and His grace is always sufficient to get me through.
Also, there are nine of us, which means many hands! We all chip in to help out around the house, including the toddler- my two-year-old.
Also, routine is essential. For things to work logistically in our home- we need to have a way. A schedule and a routine are critical specifically for the nighttime as preparation is a big deal for us, so we use our evenings to prepare for the next day. It makes more sense and creates a more seamless morning for us all.
Read Here: Night Routine with Seven Kids | From Chaos to Calm
Most of all, I take it day by day. I don’t stress myself out over the things I can’t control. For example, if I have a specific schedule for the current day and we have an emergency at school, then nothing else will matter above the well-being of my family. Does this always work? No. Sometimes this means canceling appointments or other events, but as I said before, nothing above the well-being of my family.
See How You Can Set Up a WordPress Blog in 15 Minutes2. Are any of them twins?
This question is a fun one. But, um, no. They all have their own birthdays.
I have several who are born back to back and very close in age.
3. How do you afford seven kids?
As you might have guessed- sacrifice! But also lots of compromises and some risks. We didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into as the kids kept coming, but we were willing to sacrifice the many things we didn’t see value in. We were also okay with compromising the things we desired.
We compromise the luxury vacations, which can mean Disneyland/Disneyworld, for an Airbnb on the beach and long road trips with cheap hotels. It is a longer wait time for the more expensive vacays because we have to plan years and save. We don’t do expensive restaurants, but we will do takeouts. We never fly; we drive. We do birthday celebrations at home, which are the BEST! We never shop with the trend; we shop the sales and search for deals. I don’t buy clothes with big logos; I try to stick to basics as they’re easy to dress up and layer. I cut hair at home (for girls only).
Need I say hand-me-downs? We save and reuse clothes and shoes that are still in good shape. However, I don’t thrift shop for clothes or shoes. In my opinion, they’re not much of a good deal. I could buy a brand new t-shirt for the price of a used one at thrift stores. It doesn’t make sense to me. If needed, I will invest in brand-name like Nike or Converse shoes, as they tend to last longer. However, if I can find a good deal in shoes at Target or Walmart – you bet your boots, I’ll pick up a pair or two.
We also took risks. I’ve always wanted to buy my dream home. I don’t believe in investing in something you won’t be happy with if it’s a small cottage; fine as long as you’re so glad. I wanted my DREAM-DREAM home—a home where my kids have a decent enough space and enough bathrooms.
A house with a nice open layout and a decent yard. A good size kitchen with new appliances for all my cooking. But we knew with the income we were making, we wouldn’t be able to in this market. So, we made a huge career change. My husband left his day job to do what he loves the most, and now he works from home. I also blog at home and make a little money on the side. Blogging is a great side hustle!
See How You Can Set Up a WordPress Blog in 15 Minutes4. How do you make time for yourself?
I don’t usually go out and pamper myself. I don’t care to spend on things like getting my nails done or facials. I prefer workout supplements more than anything else. So that’s my splurge and my preference. That’s not to say I won’t shop for myself cause I do when needed.
But I am a big workout fanatic. So that’s what I do for myself. I give myself an hour or two to work out six days a week. Working out is not only liberating, but it’s therapeutic too. And, on the other hand, it’s a vast distresser. So I give myself the luxury to work out and clear my head before I get to the rest of the things I need.
We are very picky in what we see value in and what we will invest our time and money in. The gym is one of those things we see value in investing our time and money. We also sign up for daycare at the gym, which is less than $15/month, so my toddler can have some playtime with other kids. It’s a win-win for us!
5. How do you make time for all seven of your kids?
Like most would say, time is also considerable. It is arduous trying to get to all of them in one day. But we do try out best. We tend to focus more on the one who needs my husband or me that day. Then, we will take time with others if several are in need. But, most of all, shared time is what we have.
I guess this can be a challenge and a benefit. On the one hand, we learn to be there for one another and work as a team. On the other hand, one may feel left out or silently going through something, and we might miss it. But at the end of the day, all we can do is our best. We try to be as attentive as possible, but we know that time is of the essence, and we don’t have all day to get to all seven.
For this reason, things like family counseling are a huge deal. I speak about that in a previous post. (Click here to read). It is essential in our family to have family counseling once a month. Some of our kids look forward to it as it’s a way to get things off their chest.
And also, birthdays are a huge deal. So we make that time especially special. We usually have dad take the birthday child out on a date while mom (obviously me) decorates the whole house and prepares for the celebrations.
6. Do you homeschool your kids?
Listen, I may wear many hats, but a school teacher isn’t one of them. I considered homeschooling my kids some years ago, and the pandemic happened. The kids were forced to do schoolwork at home, as were the rest of the kids in the world, and I was not for it.
I have so much respect for teachers, and I teach my kids to respect their teachers at school. It is a skill to teach that many kids in one room. Also, I don’t have twins or triplets. I have six school kids, and all are in different grades so homeschooling would be very challenging.
7. How do you get time alone with your husband?
Oh, we have gotten so creative with this area in our life, from picnics in our bedroom to movies in our car. We learned to go on dates in a pinch. Thankfully, we have a couple of teenagers who are always willing to babysit for us now, so we can leave the house once a week or twice a month and have a nice date.
Life can get ahead of us, and sometimes our time with each other slowly dwindles, but that’s why date nights are essential.
If we have to be at home for whatever reason, we will settle for movies in our car, takeout, a living room picnic, and a movie in our bedroom. As long as we can have our Friday date nights, I’m all good.
Read here: Date your husband: why dating is essential to a happy marriage.
8. How do you keep your marriage strong with so many kids?
It became apparent that teaching our kids the importance of dating in marriage was vital when they wondered why we were still “dating.” Our kids must know that we need it to keep our love young. To put it out loosely and from a worldview – without us, there is no them. In my conviction – if our love fails, the home fails, and our family will fall apart. A strong marriage is what keeps our family strong together.
We also pray together at night. I pray for my husband, and he prays for me. There is no love without God and prayer. It’s how we align ourselves with honoring the sacred covenants we made through our vows with God and each other.
We also make it a point to communicate with each other. Sometimes the communication isn’t pretty, but that doesn’t stop us. We share the ugly and the lovely. Communication is how we find understanding with one another.
9. Are you going to have more kids?
The short answer is: I don’t know. As of right now, my answer is a hard no. But those who know me understand clearly that my answers are never the same regarding this question. One minute it’s a no, and then a few months down the road, it’s a “maybe.”
For me, it’s always been about spiritual impressions.
10. How do you budget groceries for your family?
This one changes from time to time. My husband has cancer, and good nutrition for him is vital for his immune system. We all know healthy food in this economy is economically challenging today. But we make due. For this reason, our budget can change from time to time.
Logistically, around $200-$300 a week seems to work for us. Unfortunately, due to my husband’s health, this is a broad spectrum of our budget. However, we don’t have the luxury of keeping a grocery budget on the high end while keeping other household budgets the same, so we adjust in other areas of our finances.
Before cancer, we were fine, around $200-$240 a month. Some families will include necessities in their grocery budget, like hygiene products. I don’t. That is a separate budget I have on the side.
What helps us stick to our budget is sticking to our list. That is number one. Second, our inventory consists of big family meals mainly made of frozen veggies and carbs since it is more filling and cheap. Third, for the type of meats, we stick primarily with chicken or pork meals for our preference for meat because they fall in line with the more affordable route.
Things like prime meats and seafood sometimes don’t make it on the week’s list, but we will make an exception at least twice or thrice a month for my husband’s health. The rest of us will try to eat red meat sparingly. The word [try] is the keyword.
11. How do you keep up with curricular activities?
We have one in football who only needs to be picked up after practice, which is no biggie. Games are only one day out of the week. So we’ve been able to make it to most of his plays.
We have two kids who participate in church activities one day of the week and two kids who participate in church activities twice a month. None of these days land on game days.
We have one child who is in the pep squad. We get to pick and choose the activities she will pep in. So, we make it a point to select the ones that don’t interfere with the other activities. Pep squad practices are in the mornings at the end of the week, and we do not have anything scheduled on that day.
We have two who recently joined their school Choir, and even those days don’t interfere with the rest of the schedule.
Having a schedule where none of the kid’s curricular activities overlapped with the other was a long shot, but we were somehow blessed, and that happened. I won’t knock on wood and say that this will happen to us all the time, but having a schedule that works with all the kids has happened to us.
Before we had two in gymnastics, two in dance, one in MMA, and one in football, and somehow none of the scheduled practices, games, and shows landed on the same day. I don’t know how this happens, but when I say “His” tender mercies are an ample verification in our lives- this is one of those times I speak of. God somehow makes everything work out.
12. How do you deal with all the laundry?
I have expressed my struggle and dislike with laundry previously, but I have found a way to manage all the laundry. I talk about working our laundry in this post here and more about the logistics of running a home with a big family.
A little backstory for you: I have always hated doing laundry. I wouldn’t say I like prolonged sitting and finding matching pairs of tiny socks. I used to have one day of the week scheduled for laundry, but that would somehow turn into two days, and the same laundry that took me two days to wash would take me two weeks to fold and put away.
I devised a daily laundry schedule, which works for us, especially since some kids can do laundry independently, and most can fold and put away their clothes. So everyone has a day to do their laundry. Let me make that clear; everyone has a scheduled day of the week to wash their laundry.
For example, two of my girls have Mondays scheduled for laundry. They will bring their laundry to the wash the night before (Sundays) to wash overnight. I dry it the next day (Monday: their scheduled day). Then I will take their clean laundry to their room once dried so that they can fold and put away their laundry.
What used to take me two days of laundry now takes me less than an hour of laundry daily.
You’re welcome.
This was fun! I will love to answer more questions if any of you have some questions for me. I don’t mind entertaining those wondering what life is like having a large family.
Please let me know in the comments.
