How I overcame postpartum depression while caring for six kids|
To all my struggling mamas out there who are suffering from postpartum depression- you are not alone. Unfortunately, postpartum depression is expected in many moms, and as a mom of six (at the time), I was no exception.
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MY STORY
After giving birth to my sixth child, who happens to be my fifth daughter and my second youngest now, – I was suffering from postpartum depression (PPD), which I didn’t recognize at the time.
On the other hand, my husband is familiar with symptoms of depression as he, too, has had PTSD since his military days – he watched me wilt and weaken and knew what I was going through.
He suggested that I get screened for PPD, and when I did, I learned that I had all the symptoms of postpartum depression. I fell victim to this mental illness.
Some of the symptoms that I had were:
- Crying all the time
- Feelings of guilt
- A sense of inadequacy
- Always sad
THE ONSET OF PPD
This article states PPD stats which is six-eight weeks after giving birth and can last for as long as three years or longer. My onset began about five weeks after giving birth and lasted almost a year.
For most moms, PPD is known to sneak up on you. However, others might recognize it before you do. In this case, my husband realized it before I could see it in myself.
It was a frightening experience because no mom wants to feel like she suddenly “unloved” her children. I knew I loved them, but I wasn’t happy, and I felt so alone. I felt so guilty for looking at my children and having that resentful feeling or doubts that I made the right decision in having them, or as many as I did. I didn’t feel like a good mom.
Regardless of all the uncertainty in my life at that moment of depression, I knew one thing was for sure- I love my family. I love my children and did not want to lose myself loving them.
FINDING SOME MIDDLE GROUND
Like most people, I turned to Dr. Google and searched for ways to overcome PPD. While most articles suggested that I needed self-care or alone time, which is a pretty healthy standard for stressed-out moms, I didn’t feel like alone time was what I needed. Though I didn’t want to discount any viable suggestions from these articles, pushing away my kids didn’t sit right with me.
It just seemed so backward to me. I was losing myself and feeling distant from my kids. Yet, in my heart, I knew I needed to find ways to bring myself closer to my babies, and separating myself from them, even for a moment, was the last thing on my mind.
If I needed to find a way to fight this depression and love my kids the right way, I needed something that would include them and not push them away.
On the other hand, I also knew the articles were suitable- self-care is just as important. So I was searching to find a way to merge the two methods and find some middle groundings between self-care and being with my babies simultaneously.
Here’s what I tried and what worked for me.
THREE THINGS I DID
- Trying something new| Newbies to the outdoors
- Staying physically active| Finding an active community
- Finding spiritual strength through prayer
NEWBIES TO THE OUTDOORS
Utah is known for its scenic mountain hikes, and our family was fortunate enough to have lived in such a beautiful state. The sad thing about living there was we never allowed ourselves to explore the beautiful mountains- until PPD.
We were so unprepared our first time hiking, but that didn’t stop us. The drive up the mountain was breathtaking, but nothing compared to being on an actual hike with six kids. The walk we were on lasted no more than 20 minutes. But it was the best 20 minutes of my life! There is something so spiritual in nature’s surroundings and being away from the world. It was so peaceful being in the mountains, even for a moment.
The best part about hiking is having all my kids with me, including my newborn. We found unity in hiking, getting lost and dirty together, seeing our way together, and experiencing something new and refreshing.
For a moment, I forgot about my mental struggles. Since then, we’ve gone on many hikes and have plans in the future to revisit some of these hikes.
STAYING PHYSICALLY ACTIVE
It was vital for me to strengthen myself physically and mentally. I was very known to lift weights, but doing so was liberating. It gave me a sense of stability in my mind and body. I felt strong, and I felt in control of myself again. It was therapeutic. Lifting weights gave me confidence as a mom and as an individual, which I lost while caring for my little ones.
I was able to find an active community to be a part of. I also took advantage of a gym daycare, and my little ones were making friends in their little club- it was great to see. Creating a healthy morning ritual was essential to my routine as it gave them some structure.
I felt like by doing this- I was regaining my strength back in myself and my home. I lifted weight and made my flesh strong- I also created a morning routine that gave myself and my kids something to look forward to daily.
It also strengthened my marriage as it became a proactive part of my routine and my husband’s. We went to the gym with our kids and made it a family morning ritual.
Now it’s a lifestyle, and we still enjoy lifting weights together as the first time we started together.
FINDING SPIRITUAL STRENGTH THROUGH PRAYER
I would have never found the first two things that I did, had it not been for the counseling of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
I prayed with and without my family time and time again, in desperate need of a way to help bridge the gap this illness created between my babies and me.
Prayers not only gave me the answers I needed, but they also rendered me the strength that was required of me to be the loving mother I once was.
We prayed together, alone, and separately in groups. We prayed together at the start of every morning and the end of every night, and it was the one thing that grounded us- the one thing that strengthened the foundation of our home. We became a family again through prayer.
FINDING THE RIGHT SUPPORT SYSTEM
This wasn’t hard for me as my husband was a great supporter. But, even more, incredible is connecting to the right support group with other moms and parents who can relate to struggling with PPD.
There are so many groups out there- locally and online. I connected to a few Facebook groups and heard the stories of many struggling parents who overcame this same depression.
You don’t have to be alone. Seek help from your doctor and find ways to connect you back to your kids while rekindling that bond as mom and children.
Have you struggled, or are you struggling with postpartum depression? What things have or are helping you? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
